Migraines and Life: It SUCKS, but You Got This!

To say it has been a while since I have blogged is a major understand statement! That may sound cliche, but it is as true a statement as there can be. I have had a lot on my plate. I’m sure many of you can relate. Life gets busy and out of control; it takes so much out of us. I’ve been busy, sure, but there are other reasons that have kept me from my blog. I’ve debated with myself about posting this, but I’ve always said that I’d be transparent with my readers and anyone else who cared to read my blog so, there are a few things I’d like to share. Hopefully, in the end, it will help someone else and possibly myself.

For over a year I have been dealing with migraines. It isn’t something that I thought would ever happen to me. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, but I’m definitely not old. I’m going to be 31 on July 23rd and to me, that is still young! When I started to not feel quite myself I thought maybe I was finally pregnant! It turns out that wasn’t true. It took several months for me to finally realize that over-the-counter medicine wasn’t cutting it and I took my butt to the doctor.

Wounds

My migraine journey has been long, too long in my opinion. I was having pain in my neck and arm. My doctor thought I might have a pinched nerve in my neck. After an MRI, it was duly noted that there was nothing wrong with my neck. Still my doctor thought that maybe physical therapy would help. He was right, it did help my neck and arm, but did absolutely noting for my head. In fact, it made my head hurt worse.

That was when my therapist suggested I get an MRI on my brain and see a neurologist. Needless to say, that was a bit scary. No one wants to get an MRI on their head. Brain tumors run in my family so of course I was having terrible, pointless thoughts. My brother was actually diagnosed with a brain tumor nearly 7 years ago. Thankfully he is still in remission and we are blessed with many more days with him. I’m happy to say that MRI came back clear. According to my neurologist I have a very healthy brain. But, what did that mean?

Here I was, nearly 8 or so months into dealing with migraines, trying to write and trying to work, but will still no answers. That is when my neurologist diagnosed me with migraines. I had already had speculations that was what was going on with me. Believe me, you know when you have a migraine. It sucks! Now that I had a “reason” as to why I was feeling like my body was turning against me, it didn’t mean it was over. It was only the beginning.

I am thankful that God has blessed our world with so many bright people. I’m a firm believer that if a medication can help you then you should take it. Here is my dilemma, the medicine and I have not been friends. They would either make me sick or not work. At first they would knock me flat on my rear. I would come home at 6:00 PM and sleep until the next day. I would be walking around in a haze, but still have this intense pressure in my head. My doctor tried everything.

Now, I’m at the point where I’m going to try Botox injections. When I heard about Botox treating migraines, I was skeptical. I’m still skeptical. However, I’m at the point that I will try anything as long as it’s not immoral or illegal. I’ll be honest, there are days when even that is up in the air. I’ve told my husband on many occasions that I’d take a horse tranquilizer if I knew it would help. There have been so many times where I have stayed curled up in my bed, holding my head, praying that God would just take the pain away.

Psalms 61

I can say that if it weren’t for God, I would have lost my mind ages ago. He has blessed me with health professionals who are trying different methods of treatments. I have had amazing co-workers, both writing buddies and others, who are at the ready with words of encouragement. My family and friends have been a huge blessing so I know that He knew that I would be in this situation one day. He put those people in my life for a reason and I can’t thank him enough. You really start to realize who your true friends are when your health gets turned upside down.

That’s the bones of the experience I’ve had so far. You have probably heard a similar story from people you know that have migraines. What you probably haven’t heard is the other part, the part that people like me try to keep ourselves. What could that be? Well, the darkness that creeps in on you when your body is in constant pain on a daily basis. Migraines aren’t an illness that many people can sympathize with, if you don’t have it, because it’s not something you can see. It’s a silent sickness that a lot of people still can’t view as a true disease.

I don’t blame these people at all. There are still a lot of things the health community doesn’t understand about migraines. Treatments are a shot in the dark. It’s almost like you’re a guinea pig with the medicine and other treatment options. You literally go through phases of “let’s see if this works.” More times than not it doesn’t work and you’re back to square one.

There are so many people who can’t wrap their heads around this. I’ve heard it from so many of them, “Why haven’t they fixed you yet?” or “Well when I have a headache I do this, this, and this.” or “Have you tried blah, blah, blah, works for me every time.” Sweet Lord, baby Jesus, I wish it were that simple! I say that in a not taking the Lord’s name in vain sort of way. I ask Him a lot to let it be that easy. The truth is, as meaningful as people are with their suggestions, migraine (NOT headaches) sufferers will try anything, but you can’t just “fix” us. It’s a constant battle to find something that works.

Then you have your triggers. These triggers are different for everyone, but there are some that seem to affect the majority. It could be weather (Yes! The darn weather!), food (Chocolate…what a world!), scents, lights, heat, sounds…you name it, just about anything can trigger a migraine. It can seem like there isn’t a hope in the world. Your life is never the same. You can’t do things that you used to. Work, on a daily basis, is nearly impossible, you can’t hang out with friends, or go to family gatherings without looking like you’re about to pass out. You will spend many, many beautiful days locked inside a dark room with an ice pack on the back of your neck. It is a life changer for the worse.

Let me tell you, as with many chronic illnesses, if you aren’t careful, it can consume you. I have always been the type of person that would hold in problems with pain and emotions. Sure, I love easily and if I love you, you’ll know it. But, when it came to me, something that I thought made me look weak, I kept it to myself. This has really hit me where it hurts, my pride. I’m a control freak and a fixer. I want to fix all of the problems with myself and have always been foolish enough to think that I can do it on my own. Ha!

I got so down, further than I had ever been in my life. Saying that my head hurt got old to even me so I just stopped saying it. I held it all in and would only talk to those who were closest to me. Even then I’d say, “I’m fine.” when they asked me how I was feeling. I was lying to them and myself. I wasn’t fine. I was hurting and not just physically, but in my soul. This illness had taken not only my strength, but my spark, my joy. Holding in how I felt and denying myself the release of saying, “I hurt.”had stripped me of an outlet that I so desperately needed.

It took a simple spat with my husband about where we should move books to unhinge me. I realized that I was so angry and hurt that the slightest things would set me off. It hurt me that I had hurt him and then I broke down. It was the most disgusting, snotty cry of my life. It was a “Boo-Hoo” cry, as my mother calls it. Even though it was my fault, my husband held me the entire time, just letting me get it all out. That cry saved my sanity. It made me realize that I couldn’t hold this in and that it was OK to admit that I live with a pain that had uprooted my entire life.

To be honest, it does kick my butt most days. It hurts; I will never deny that. There are still going to be days when I feel down in the dumps. I’m not going to want to get out of bed or wash my hair or make dinner or clean the house. I will be irritable and grumpy; heck, I’m sure I’ll be down right miserable to be around. There is one thing I won’t be, afraid. I know I have a long battle ahead of me. Boy, will it suck, but I will not be ashamed to admit that I need help or that I am in pain.

Psalms 147

I will cling to God, to my family, to friends, to my supporters. I will hold on to the fact that this pain is only temporary and there are wonderful and jubilant days ahead for me. If you are where I am, I am praying for you and I send you all of my love, all of my positive thoughts. You will get through this. I am here for you. I am your sister in God; I am your sister in arms. We will fight this war together. No man or woman or child gets left behind.

If you have found your way out of this battle, remember those who still need your support. God bless you. Never take your pain free days for granted. If your loved is going through this, be kind, be understanding when they cancel plans at the last minute. Believe me, if they could be there they would. This doesn’t just go for those who have migraines, but anyone who is suffering, be it physically, mentally, or spiritually. Reach out with love in your heart and a warm hug.

Rowling

Advertisements

Books for Cindy Fundraiser

~Books for Cindy Fundraiser~

Do you want 19+ books AND help someone in need at the same time? Of course you do!

Books for Hope is fundraising for Cindy Wilson, who is need for several surgeries to alleviate pain due to many Women’s Health issues. Let’s help Cindy, who is an avid reader herself, with the financial burden so she can heal with a little less stress!

Each entry is $5. Every $5 gains you an additional chance of winning all the fabulous books bellow.

1 Grand Prize Winner will win every single paperback listed!

1 additional winner will win all ebooks!

P.S. We’re adding more books everyday!

1. The Shadow by A.G. Porter
2. The Forsaken by A.G. Porter
3. Of War & Taters by Ashley Chappell
4. Book 1 Of the Genie Chronicles: Heir to The Lamp by Michelle Lowrey Combs
5. Cycle of Ages Saga: Finders Keepers by Jeremy Hicks
6. Cycle of Ages Saga: Finders Keepers by Jeremy Hicks 2nd Edition Cover
7. Profiled by Renee Andrews
8. Nexus by Brian Weimer
9. Birthright by B.J. Keeton
10. The Queen’s Yeoman by T.D. Raufson
11. Legacy of Dragon: Emergence (Legacy of Magic Volume 1)
12. The Truth About Mud by Christina L. Rozelle
13. The Treemakers by Christina L Rozelle
14. Feels Like Rain by Janae Mitchell, Author
15. Task Force: Gaea: Finding Balance
16. Wait For Me by T.s. McKinney
17. Wake Up! Based on a true story of abuse and betrayal” by: Hunter Marshall by Jenn Wright
18. Mythology by Helen Boswell
19. Reborn and Eternal and an awesome tote by C.C. Hunter

E-books:

1. The Elsker Saga by S.T. Bende (4 books total)
2. Two ebooks chosen by winner by John Tucker
3. Legal Shifter by Jane Danger
4. The Shadow by A.G. Porter
5. The Forsaken by A.G. Porter
6. Fallen Souls: The Darkness Trilogy Novella by A.G. Porter

Enter here: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/5c01ba8216/?

YOU MUST FOLLOW THESE RULES OR YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE

1. Donate $5 to Cindy’s GoFundMe Campaign here:http://www.gofundme.com/ozjk34

2. Leave a comment on the GoFundMe Campaign saying you’re donating for Books for Cindy

*Every $5 you donate will count for an additional entry and there is no limit
*Be sure to leave your name when you make your donation

Enter here: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/5c01ba8216/?

Author Elizabeth Seckman is TAKING OVER with her book Defying Reason

It Wasn’t Always Diamonds….

Rings seem to have represented the unity of couples since we were living in caves. Okay, so nobody really knows this, there are no drawings of bling on cave walls. We do know the ancient Egyptians wore thin bands of metal on their left hand to show the connection of hearts via the vena amoris. In Victorian times, it was popular to exchange rings with the lover’s birth stones. Another popular ring ring spelled out L(apis lazuli) O(pal) V(ermarine) E(merald) in the stones. It seems the rise in the popularity of the diamond engagement ring started with DeBeers. It was the diamond companies excellent marketing strategies that seemed to make the diamond solitaire ring the symbol of love we’re most familiar with. And ladies, we can also thank them for the ten year anniversary band. Is the tennis bracelet necessary for the twenty-third? If not, maybe they can get their publicity department on it…mine is coming up!

defying reason big

Jo Leigh Harper comes from a long line of trouble-making, white trash stock.Tanner Coulter comes from a longer line of wealth-creating, blue blood stock. Jo graduated college top of her class, moving toward a future full of possibilities. Tanner dropped out of college, trading a law degree for drinking games and one night stands. A family crisis throws the rich party boy and the poor genius girl together. The attraction is immediate, though neither one is a heart-in-the-sand-drawing believer in true love. But as the summer sun heats up along the shores of the Outer Banks, so does the connection between them. Maybe, just maybe, they can win at love by defying reason.

Author Elizabeth Seckman

Author Elizabeth Seckman

Elizabeth is a multi-published author of books for people who are believers in happily-ever- after, true love, and stories with a bit of fun and twists with their plots. The mother of four young men, she tackles laundry daily and is the keeper of the kitchen. She lives along the shores of the Ohio River in West Virginia, but dreams daily of the beach.

FacebookBlogWebsiteBuy Link

Author Take Over by Elizabeth Seckman

I hope all of you lovely readers are having a fantastic Saturday!

Let me start your day off right with some great news! On February 26th, Author Elizabeth Seckman will be taking over my blog with her very own post in celebration of her new book, Defying Reason. If you love romance novels with interesting plots and believe that true love is out there for everyone then you do not want to miss this post! I am very excited and honored to have Elizabeth as my guest. I hope you all stop by and show her the love you’ve shown me.

Author Elizabeth Seckman

Author Elizabeth Seckman

If you want to learn a little about Elizabeth before her post then visit her Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Elizabeth-Seckman-Author/361427683923220?sk=timeline

Elizabeth has many other books that you can check in addition to Defying Reason. You can learn about them on her Amazon page here:

http://www.amazon.com/Elizabeth-Seckman/e/B008VTLXSA/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1424525352&sr=1-2-ent

Have a great one, y’all! Stay warm and toasty!

God bless,

~A

Femnista~A Family Affair and Beyond Blood with The Winchesters

In December I was able to contribute an article to the wonderful online magazine Femnista about my favorite TV show Supernatural! I can’t thank Charity Bishop enough for letting me sneak in at the last minute on this issue. There was no way I was going to miss out on the chance to write about the Winchesters!

Before you get in the to wonderful magazine, please take a moment to check out more of Charity’s work. She is also an author who is beyond talented!

http://www.charitysplace.com/

To see the full magazine that is full of articles that are focused on this month’s theme, “A Family Affair”, go here:

http://issuu.com/femnista/docs/nov_dec_femnista_2014/0

Beyond Blood

S14

For some, there is nothing we wouldn’t do for our families. Without a doubt we’d walk through fire for them, take a bullet them, or walk through hell and back. If you’re a Winchester then you’ve probably done all of the above and more than once. That’s because The Winchesters aren’t your average family. They come from a long line of Hunters, people who make it the family business to hunt things (monsters and demons) and save people.

S6

The dynamics of the Winchester family can seem to be all over the place. John, father of Dean and Sam, is more or less a absent parent after his wife, Mary, is killed. He is so consumed with finding the demon (you read that correctly) that killed Mary that at times he leaves his young sons to fend for themselves. While this forms an unbreakable bond between the boys it also creates a strain that same relationship.

S1

Dean sees his father as the man who did what he had to do to find justice for his mother’s killer even if that meant leaving him to take care of Sam from time to time; at least for a while. Sam can’t seem to see past the fact that his dad was gone most of the time. Their relationship is rocky from the start, but regardless of that, Sam loves his father.

S11

S5

Dean, who is several years older, starts looking out for his younger brother Sam (Sammy) at such a young age that it is pretty much ingrained in him. When his mother is killed, it takes place in their home; Dean must take Sam, a baby at the time, outside to safety. From that moment on, Dean feels that he must take Sam under his wing and keep him safe. In any situation that the boys are in Dean is always looking out for his brother. That is why he sacrificed so much, even his own soul for him.

S10

For Sam, he wanted to get out of the monster hunting business and live as normal a life as possible. For a while, he was able to, but he’s a Winchester and a Hunter and happiness just isn’t in their cards. Sam, as goodhearted as he is, is marked from a child to do bad things and be a dark person, but he chooses the light and overcomes his fate. While he is the baby brother he is smart, selfless and brave; Sam works just hard to prove himself as a worthy Hunter as well a human being.

S9

As opposite as Dean and Sam are, there is one thing that both of have in common, it is the love they have for their family. Here’s the thing about the brothers, family is more than blood to them. They’ve adopted family members along the way and those same people have adopted them. From a surrogate father in Bobby Singer, brothers like Kevin and Cas, to a kid sister like Charlie, the brothers give love and love in return. So, yes, Supernatural is about brothers who fighter the forces of evil and happens to look fantastic while doing it, but it is also about brothers who have given their all in every way imaginable.

S13

*I do not own the rights to these photos

Sometimes

Sometimes there’s rain,
At times it’ll pour.
Sometimes there’s pain,
I can hear the sounds of war.

Sometimes there’s thunder,
It fills me up inside.
Sometimes there’s a struggle,
Between humbleness and pride.

I can’t tell who’s winning,
Maybe I’ll never know.
I can feel my heart thinning,
And the emptiness grow.

Sometimes there’s fire,
It’s eating me alive.
Sometimes there’s desire,
But the kind that kills with a lie.

Sometimes there’s hunger,
It gnaws at my flesh.
Sometimes there’s surrender,
The kind that steals your last breath.

And I can’t tell if you’re with me,
There’s a loneliness in my soul.
I yearn to be free,
But the darkness tells me no.

I feel like I’m losing,
Like my soul is ice.
I feel like I’m choosing,
To run away with the night.

Yet despite my weakness,
Of giving in to this world;
I feel your hands upon me,
And I’m not so scared anymore.

Sometimes there’s light,
I taste it on my tongue.
Sometimes there’s home,
When there’s no place left to run.

Sometimes there’s quiet,
When the storm rages in my mind.
Sometimes there’s a riot,
But the kind that brings new life.